Daily Dose of Misery.

Hi, this is just a reallly incredibly quick post about how my day went. lets just some it up.. crappy. I sdoubt I can ever smile again. seriously. My gradesr are just dropping like a slow water drop. I had a bunch of A's to show for on my mid quarter test, but now, i only have 2 A's if I;m lucky. and 3 D's. god damn freaken DEE! hohw am i supposed to sleep at night with that towering over my head? My biology teacher had like a 40 minutes talk with me today about how I need to catchup. I have a new D in that class. what was an A at the beginning of the quarter is now a D. I have til next week to turn in all my latework for a 7/10 as the highest score i can recieve. Not only that, but I have to have to turn in my biblio for history in order to have a passing D. ( i have an F in that class...) Algebra2, i have to really step it up and stop procrastinating, start working and just not be behind. procrastination sucks. finally, i think thats it. im really just depressed at how unworthy, stupid, not smart, bot good for the world type mood. I just need to get a better grade asap, because this is high school, and college, i just have to get into college. UCLA and stanford or berkely are my dream schools. and with out mch help from my aunt, i just have to get there on my own.this is my goal for the school year. to do good in school. forget about my past life in LA. and to just do good. im tired of trying to live a double life keeping up with everyones lives in LA. i just have to face the reality that I'm here now, and MHS is just my number one priority now. -sigh- so asian. so not me i know. but this is how im going to have to start acting in order to be happy. right now im just miserable. pure and utterly miserable. im not sure if i can even put a "fake" smile anymore. how will you know if a person is truly smiling? look into their eyes, if theyre cold and emothionless, you;ll know its fake. thats it. alright bye now. cross country practice. maybe theyll bring up my day.